theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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