Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
