Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize