we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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