If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
