Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
