If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize