I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
