It's just like the Real World with babies
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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