Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize