Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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