she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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