it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
