so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
