covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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