i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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