we made out on top of his cat.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
