Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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