I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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