Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
