It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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