If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
