my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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