Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
