He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize