he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
