I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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