well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
