Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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