the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think my moral compass just broke
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
