question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize