apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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