Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
