I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
