Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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