Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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