worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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