My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
