Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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