apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
