why didn't you poke me back
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
