So drunk its hurt
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
