woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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