If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
