Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
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I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize