Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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