What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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