It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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