I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
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Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who died my cat blue again?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.