...so i touched it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"