If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many