He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
