Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
should my penis look like a turkey
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
