If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize