so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
