You smell like stripper and shame
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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